i'm so grateful for the people who were able to come to my party last night. on the table was fondue with green apples, french bread, roasted potatoes, broccoli, and red bell peppers; homemade pumpkin pie, brownies, popcorn, large bottles of red wine and champagne brought by friends, and hot apple cider. it was not a raging sort of house party with body shots in the living room. it was a cozy gathering on a cold november night. thanks to agatha for helping me string the x-mas lights around the room to light the place up!

i have this quote posted on my refrigerator door:

set yourself free from the past and move into the present moment with peace and happiness, letting go of anger and resentments. make the most out of each day.

i want to live not holding on. some people have a habit of making themselves prisoners of the past. my wish for these people is to find a way to get free. i'm conscious about the feeling of gratitude for what i have - like the fabulous friends around me - and not looking at what i think is missing from the present picture. but i had to acknowledge the disappointment about a certain someone not being there with us last night. accepting the basic state of impermanence and change is hard sometimes.

"living is all about the change...."

had i not been in the throes of baking yesterday afternoon, i would have been down at the city hall with the crowd of people protesting the passing of proposition 8. the written word has been my more immediate form of activism. poetry - storytelling - performance. but come to think of it every time i kissed my ex-girlfriend in public, that was activism happening in parking lots and restaurants and on city streets. there should be a city wide gay and straight makeout fest in front of the city hall to combat homophobia. a public demonstration of love and equality.