I'm a sensitive, sensitive lady. Everything today feels too hard and crushing to take. I don't think I can work at the club as planned this afternoon. I need two days minimum to detoxify my psyche of that environment. You can't think when you do that sort of work. You can't think deeply about what you're actually doing and the cause and effect. You do it because you need to be earning money. Survival has precedence. Not working today will not kill me. I had a goal of earning $700-800 this week. Ah. Whatever. $500 will be fine too. I get a little stressed this time of the year.... I'm waitressing at the restaurant tomorrow morning and going to dance that night. It will be the big money making weekend. What sort of gets under my skin is I know I'm intelligent and I *should* be able to find a practical solution with work, you know? I shouldn't be working as a stripper. This depresses me the most. Anyhow. I think I'll spend the afternoon applying for more jobs and taking care of ME. Tonight is a friend's birthday bash.