"It could be much worse...." I remind myself of this every time I have to give another lap dance to another man I don't want to dance for. "It could be so much worse." You could be living with your parents. You could be paralyzed from the neck down. You could lose your eye sight. You could be dying from cancer. I place the situation into perspective// I go into work about 4 times a week, dress up in fancy lingerie, and strut out on stage with an audience of men that oohs and ahs over me and women in general, slipping money into my garter belt and telling me how cute and gorgeous they think I am, asking me for private lap dances later on. They order me cocktails or whisky or beer or champagne, whatever my heart desires. We talk over the course of songs at their table and I give them private dances on request. Sometimes I hold their hand. Sometimes I allow more touch with the ones I like better. Sometimes I like it. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel that I have truly made someone's night and that makes this sort of work more worth it. The money is good, but I'm not rolling in it in the sense that society imagines it to be. The economy has even affected what strippers are earning and dancers complain about how terrible it has been this year. I take home around $200-250 on a good night. A bad night is around $150. Dancers are continually moving around between clubs in the city searching for the one club that has the most affluent crowd, but the reality is all of them are about the same. No one has the money they used to. I went to Victoria's S*cret this weekend and checked out the prices for lingerie sets I might want to buy in the future. I bought a tube of lipstick and several lace panties to perform in- one is hot pink! To think that this was a "work" outing. I still waitress over the weekend at the breakfast diner and get a chance to step out of my stripper costume. Every night when I come home from the club at 2:30 a.m., I instantly take a hot shower and scrub everything off with lots and lots of soap. Then I breathe.

A friend's 20-year old brother was in an accident a week ago and is now paralyzed from the waist down. She is hosting a benefit for him this weekend. That brought so much back into perspective. I will dance my pants off and take some of that money and donate it to him.