i hate this.

welcome to my life:

wake at 6:30 a.m. and hit the snooze button several times
workout 20-30 minutes now or after work
shower & dress for the office
drive to el chilito for breakfast and coffee to go
drive 20 minutes to work
be at desk by 8:00
drink more coffee!
lunch from 12-1
leave work at 5:00
drive 30 minutes home in rush hour traffic
start cooking dinner
cleaning
3 hours to unwind/write/watch a movie/phone time/go to a coffee house
be in bed by 10:30

it is those 3 hours pencilled into the window of each day that i really live for. there is not enough time to daydream, to create, to simply be, and i want to take the hands on the clock and set them back. pretend it is 5 o'clock instead of 10:30. pretend that i can stay up as late as i want. these days feel like being on a race track. i came home from work this evening, took a hot shower, fixed a strong cocktail, and began cooking dinner in the kitchen. i boiled some penne noodles and while the water was bubbling, cut a large tomato, garlic, white onions, basil, and kohlrabi, added the veggies to a hot pan sizzling with olive oil, simmered them in a white wine reduction, and poured the pasta into it with buffalo mozzarella. a recipe from amber. being able to cook from scratch and use fresh vegetables and herbs from the co-op made me feel more connected to "life," less disconnected from what is important, such as wasting time in traffic and spending hours in front of a computer and being on this corporate time. cooking and plants and making art bring me back to who i am. in two months i will have someone to cook for in our new house. no more dinners for one. i love to cook and hate washing dishes. she loves to wash dishes and hates to cook. this could be a winning combination.