contrary to past birthday celebrations i've decided to spend most of the day at home with mischa doing whatever i feel like. my brother and his girlfriend drove into town to surprise me last night, and so i had a birthday family dinner and blew out a single candle on a chocolate cupcake. my brother made a big mistake and thought that i was turning 30. newly 29, i told him how old i actually am and that i would save the card for next year. he also committed the same mistake when our dad turned 59 last year. we will, of course, need to give him a happy 30th birthday card when he's 29 to carry on this family tradition.
had i not chosen to stay in, i might not have had a chance encounter with a neighbor today who is some sort of writer and book publicist. he's sending me info on promoting my book and has offered to place me in touch with some publishers for the future, which is exactly what i could use. on a whim, he gave me a derrick brown poetry book as a gift, and signed it with birthday wishes on the inside cover. so sweet. the gesture has lifted me from this otherwise downward spiralling mood.
i think it could be related to the chaos of the move, the need to find a better job, the details surrounding the book release, waking up to a partner-less life and no health insurance and filing taxes, and i'm reminded of the celebration from last year, including the falling outs that ensued in the wake. almost everything feels heavy today. i was feeling so cantankerous that i postponed my photo shoot with paige. i had breakfast at bouldin creek alone with the newspaper where i had to wait almost an hour for my food. even though i'm comfortable going places alone, it felt somehow wrong on this day, and the long wait got under my skin.
i'm in a funk. it's probably for the best that i'm spending the night at home. tomorrow will be a better day.
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