worth it.

i like the sound of silence in a room when i can hear each key being typed and my glass of wine clunking on the table as i set it down. it is within this silence that i can hear myself think after a long day at the office. lady x, or elle, has been filling up my free time and inspiring the romantic in me, that part i had to shove into a bottle for many months. it feels good to be dating again, even though i know that she will be leaving in about 4 weeks to return to san francisco. it feels wonderful to have someone like her to share evenings with, someone to leave a bouquet of roses for on their doorstep simply because you are moved to. i'm planning to pack in as much fun and romance as possible. we kissed for a long time on my balcony in the sunshine before we went for a walk, before we had cocktails at a neighborhood cafe, sitting at a table next to a crowd of punk lesbians, before we held hands on the walk back and people stared at us like we were from another planet. one whole side of my body got sunburnt to a lovely crisp from making out under the sun, but it was worth it. the day was completely worth it.

i think we're both feeling stressed out this week about responsibilities, obligations, money. i've been house hunting with alicia and had to handle my first freelance client, which was a learning experience. what a headache this woman was to deal with. she left a series of rude messages on the phone and was demanding and not at all comprimising. when you're a freelancer, you have to remember that 1. you are not a charitable service and 2. you have to stick to your rates and know what your work and time is worth. the time it would require for me to read thirty pages of scientific material and write up several pages is worth at least $100, not the $60 she wanted. i'm standing up for myself and for writers everywhere.

"you're worth it, baby."