Observations.

-Men can tell looking into my eyes regardless of what I'm wearing or not wearing that I'm not a stripper. I can fool absolutely no one. I heard: "I want you to know that you're not a piece of meat, you're far more than that.... You look like the girl next door.... I can tell you're not a stripper. You don't have a hard look...." Some customers declined a private dance telling me I'm too pretty. It pains them to treat me like a stripper, which is interesting, since we are in a strip club and I am playing the role of 'stripper.' This is somewhat bad for my business, however, I know that the men I dance for are ones that have respect for me. I feel that there is an untouchable element about me that I can't shake off, and it might be good news for warding off the jerks.

-Men were literally throwing their money at me when I was on stage. I have learned some moves from watching the other dancers. I actually started to ENJOY myself this time, rolling around on stage like an exotic creature, reveling in the spot light. I really got into it, feeling more comfortable and confident. I still have much to learn. I still feel a bit ridiculous at times. I almost tripped over my high heels. "

-When I'm dancing, I'm imagining that I'm dancing for J, and then it feels exciting.

-I liked the night dancers more.

-I like being around women.

-Last night, I got to entertain two younger men in the VIP room. They acted like they had a crush on me, which was endearing. They ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers, and paid me for several dances afterwards, slipping a $100 bill into my garter belt. I enjoyed spending an hour with them drinking champagne and eating food. I felt treated like a princess, sitting in the middle of these two in a candle lit booth, dressed up in my sexy lingerie. They know the real story about how I came to be working at this place.

-I gave a private dance to a teacher in his thirties, and I think he got off on the fact that I have a master's degree in English. I felt a bit scandalous getting into his lap.

-The poet could not afford a dance but wanted to give me a dance with his fingers. He traced circles on my hand with my eyes closed to an entire song. It was actually pretty hot, especially when he mixed in naughty words.

-I will be able to pay rent this month. I have a job and for that I'm grateful.