hello:

did you have a merry x-mas? i have a mountain of work piling up before me, and not the paid sort. my place and car are in need of deep cleaning, i have to apply to more jobs, and am in the later stages of getting the book published. not that you want to know about those details. i brought my friend A to x-mas eve dinner where she met my family at an italian restaurant downtown. we drank wine and ate homemade bread dipped in olive oil by candlelight. she said that could tell that my parents love me but could see how hard it is to be different in this family. they are so conservative! religiously they are not, but politically and intrinsically they are. having multi-colored hair or a nose ring blows them out of the water. i have struggled for most of my life to break free from the shell they placed around me and to FIND myself outside of what they want.

as with meeting most of my friends (male and female), we sensed that they at first believed that she was my lover, and we had to consciously convey that no no no, we are friends. they never met my ex-girlfriend, and i can only begin to imagine the intense scrutiny they would have placed her through at a dinner. this is what my parents have always done. they are suspicious about the people i bring them around, despite me using the word "friend" over and over.

on x-mas day we opened some gifts, had dinner at their house, and i picked yinon up from the airport late that night, followed by a strong martini with wyatt at the long branch, which was almost dead. hanging out with my boyfriends and getting tipsy on x-mas was nice, and it was an excuse to put on my little black dress. i had been hoping for more on this holiday at the end of the year. more like reconciliation and healing with my estranged friend out of state. but i'm taking it for what it is.