for better or worse....

i was listening to 93.7, and there was an astrologer on talking about the 2009 forecast for people born under the sign of aries. my ears perked up. she said that we're going to become far more involved in the community this year, more than we've ever been before, meeting many new people, joining clubs and groups, and serving the community in some form, possibly through volunteering. now i've never been "a groupie" and i can attest that this year i've felt a powerful force driving me to be active in the gay community and to be out there doing artistic and healing work in the greater community. like... teaching a writing workshop, doing drag performance, being in this femme collective, and possibly being involved with helping people learn to read. it's strange how dead on her forecast was. for the first time in my life i'm belonging to.... groups. i can hardly believe it. i've preferred to be a mysterious, loner sort for most of my existence, living on the edges. i can tell you i've changed, or i'm changing into someone who is more confident in her skin. it is scary to be so "out there" all of a sudden and to be known. but it feels good.

well. i found out that this job i'm interviewing for is a pretty significant cut in pay for me. my modus operandi: accept the opportunity and continue looking for a better one. i'm happy to be interviewing for a job that at least involves writing. it isn't some dead end office work. these things could always be much, much, much worse. flashback to the days of working for the nazi architect and the shady drug rehab center. i just hate how i have to begin at the bottom in a company again when i believe that i should be entitled to a bit more. i think the difference is that i have a greater belief in myself and in my abilities now, and i know that in time i will be in the right place. somehow. there are always options for you.

sioux gave me the good news today that she asked ben to marry her, and he obviously said yes (ef that traditional bullshit of waiting around for the man to ask the woman)! their wedding is going to be next summer, and i am honored to be a bride's maid for the first time in my life. so i will be coming to new york next summer, and have hopes of visiting with my new york friends in the big apple. maybe, just maybe i will have my girlfriend coming along for the ride.