mlk day.

i live on the edge of the historic black district of austin where there are still "ladies of the night" and drug deals that go on around 12th and chicon as i drive by after dark towards home. we have old dives with names like queen nubian's soul cafe, hoover's southern cooking, mama b's, and gene's po'boy place. the intersection of southern, black, mexican, and creole cultures gives the area a distinct flavor. i live right across the street from an all black church, always packed with people and gospel music on sunday mornings, and nearby is a new, albeit bourgeois italian restaurant and the blue dahlia cafe. tomorrow, as obama is being inaugurated, one day after mlk day, i feel that big hope for change. i've already seen some of that in this revitalized district. an obama store has opened down the street, and my african-american neighbors seem to walk with a little more bounce in their steps. today, in the beautiful sunshine of a parking lot, i pasted a human rights campaign sticker to the back of my car, a blue and yellow symbol that stands for equal rights for all americans, particularly for glbt people at work, at home, and in the community. with obama as president it's like finally we will be seeing more equality in action.

yesterday i went to rain with a circle of my gay girlfriends for an L word final season premiere showing; drinks, dancing, conversation, people watching, our favorite characters on large screens all over the club. it was so. much. fun. because some of my relationships shifted a year ago, i'm so grateful for this circle of new and old girlfriends to belong to, and feel that this circle will be expanding more with involvement in the femme collective and the drag performance troop, and also with the relase of my book of queer poetry. instead of harboring regrets or wishing to change certain situations like with my ex-girlfriend, i'm resolving to go with the flow and be in harmony with the reality of the present. going against the current seems to create more pain and suffering in the end. after watching the painful falling out between shane and jenny on the L word, i do not know whether or not i want to go through with sending the poetry book to j for her birthday. as much as i want to do that for her, i have to face that she has chosen to exit my world, and my heart cannot withstand more sorrow. i've learned from life experience that it is a waste of precious energy attempting to convince someone that you are worth it.

i've been creating some inspirational art to hang on the walls at home, made with gouache paint on watercolor paper, decorated with flowers, butterflies, and cool illustrations.

love
who
you
are.

believe in yourself.
believe in your dreams.

you have wings to soar high. ~

you are
100%
lovable.

i see these pictures and feel more positive and empowered, and believe that friends who come over to hang out will also feel the healing effects. and i've added more houseplants to the mix. more jade, succulents, ivy, kolanche, and a ficus tree. i want to create a creative, vibrant ambience for living, lounging, and working in. plants and art bring life into a place. i'm doing what i can until the time comes to move out of roberston hill.