queer grrrls in the city.

my very pregnant friend invited me to a grad student lesbian night at a bar called the peacock; there were about eight women sitting around a table with fancy cocktails. N is married to a man and about to pop out their first child, but wants to see me fall in love again. why lesbians like to gather at places with the word cock in the name and drink cocktails is an interesting phenomenon. there's a gay bar here called the cockpit where lesbians dance sometimes; i almost never go there. the peacock is a swanky, dimly lit dive on the east side with chandeliers, blue colonial walls, white leather chairs, and a taxidermied peacock nailed to the wall above the bar. later on, i was at my friend's house party where 'the cool lesbians' were, and of course got hit on by men, and of course was most interested in the girls who turned out to be in serious relationships. the story of my life thus far. almost all men on the planet think i'm straight, even at lesbian parties, even in the lesbian fiction section of bookstores. but i made some new connections and had an amazing time hanging out with friends and drinking beer. guess i'm waiting on that passionate connection, the feeling of your heart racing and butterflies, the way i felt around someone from my past like e. i'll end this post with a photo i came across of some austin drag kings). i plan to be more involved later on this year with performance. for now i'm in a state of transition, feeling weighed down by responsibilities and work that needs to be done between now and then. austin drag kings.